sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
