you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
