Soap is not a condiment
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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