I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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