no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
