i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize