Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
