if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
