he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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