so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
