So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
