i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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