I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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