i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
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he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
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