i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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