There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
