i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
