ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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