it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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