perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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