I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize