Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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