my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
