I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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