My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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