i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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