Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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