I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.