apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so let's talk penis.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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