If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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