well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
