i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
