I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Congratulations! We have a period
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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