I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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