I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
