I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
