if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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