have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
