her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
