Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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