Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
