Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
