so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
