why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
