i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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