This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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