3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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