At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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