i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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