It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She even gives head with a lisp.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
