i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you would pick up someone in the library
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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