Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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