dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
