did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
A+ Viking dick
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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