it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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