Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
try to milk me bitch
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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