I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
