I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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