If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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