The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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