Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
