my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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