I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
